XGiving

This year the thing I am the most thankful for is the miracle that is hair growth. Oh man. I had Jude's hair cut into a cute short little boy cut because I thought it would look good. While it does look good because he is adorable regardless, I have never mourned a haircut like I have this one. And that is saying something for sure. I've had my hairs cut in Asia by Asian stylists who just didn't know what to do with fine, limp white girl hair which equaled layers everywhere and a pony tail nub for six months. I didn't even mourn that hair cut. It was actually pretty hilarious, and I like funny things so I went with it. But this Jude hair cut. Woe is me. The stylist did what I asked but I asked the wrong thing. I should have had them trim up his golden locks and add a little shape. None of this shorter in the back, longer in the front business. So sad. This probably all sounds pathetic, I'm sure. I should get over it and be happy that he is healthy and thriving. There are much more important things in life that should be taking up my brain space. But those locks.... ahhhhhhhhh...... I don't know if I can ever forgive myself. No, I will never forgive myself. Grow tender blond locks, grow!

Anyways, due to the season of Turkey, Pilgrims, and the Indigenous, what else am I thankful for? For my little family who keep me company during this month of depression while I miss the family I am from. Holidays are hard for me and when the holiday lasts a whole month it is that much harder. Long weekends- tough, yet manageable, but a holiday that has a whole season to it. Woof. I mean, I love the birth of Christ and celebrating it, it just gets hard. I think I will now call this the season of "Oh Holy Sh*t". I don't really know how else to describe it but by saying: hard. Hanging out by yourself killing time doing this or that of no consequence, doing everything on our own, missing our loved ones. Hard. Do any of you have lonely holidays too? How do you cope? Or would you rather have it that way? I'm intrigued.

I do have coping mechanisms and it isn't all bad. I shouldn't be such a downer about it all. For instance, because we all know that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud for all to hear- I landed myself a solo in the church choir. Now, the humorous thing here is that I didn't even have to audition. Nope. The director simply asked if anyone could speak French. I raised my hand and got a solo! My first time showing up too, before even one note had been sung. Good grief. Yes, I once had dreams of being an opera singer, but when my tender 6 year old hopes were squashed by laughing siblings I just sort of gave up on it all. But here I am, 25 years later with a church solo on my hands. It's quite hilarious, I just hope having never had a solo or much singing experience that I can do it some kind of justice. Will report indeed. And also, I hope some cheer is spread to me and whoever else wants it. I'm suppose to sing really loud, after all.

Really though, I am thankful for hair growth, my family near and far, this silly silly solo and everything else in my life- the good and the bad. Happy Thanksgiving ya filthy animals.